Then I got to thinking: what if I didn't salvage it as a party boat? What if I fit it with missiles instead? I could have endless fun making the great navies of the world think they're shooting at one another. Yeah! Even better: I'd use it as part of my dastardly plot to steal missiles from a British vessel lost in the South China Sea. Then, I'd use those missiles to provoke a war between China and Great Britain. Waddaya think, huh? Yeah? Yeah? Do you think the Navy will still let me have it?
I guess it depends. I've established I have a criminally-inclined genius and a ruthless streak, but more is required:
1. I need an organization with a name I can turn into a suitably menacing acronym.
2. I need henchmen with unusual and remarkable deformities (hard to find in St. Louis).
3. What about henchwomen with names both unlikely and sexually suggestive? (I guess I could hang out at SLU).
4. I don't have a white persian cat. Would my calico work?
5. I don't enjoy monologuing. I'll have to refine that skill.
6. Can I credibly threaten the destruction of western civilization while maintaining a PG-13 rating?